


Ownership

by OrionGeminus (o0JayBird0o)



Category: Original Work
Genre: No Fandom - Freeform, Original work - Freeform, Poetry, Vent Poetry, Vent Writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:14:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29213997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/o0JayBird0o/pseuds/OrionGeminus
Summary: just something i wrote as an angry trans aroace. shits hard sometimes
Kudos: 1





	Ownership

My body does not belong to me. It belongs to my mother, who yearns for a time when she was younger. It belongs to my grandparents and my aunts and uncles, who still see me as i was all those years ago. 

My body does not belong to me. It belongs to a man i have not (and will never) meet. 

My body is not mine. Like a statue in a museum it is simply a Thing to be ogled at, to be praised emptily and picked apart but never changed. Because i cannot speak for myself. 

My hair is not mine. It belongs to my Parents. Who see the daughter that has not existed for so very long. This hair is a tapestry to be cherished, never edited, because doing so would be a travesty. Because it has importance to people that are not me. 

My voice does not belong to me. It belongs to the books i escaped into. It belongs to the others that have so many hollow compliments. Who want for my voice. Who take my words and chew them up and spit them out. 

My face does not belong to me. It is not mine. I look into the mirror and see the face of everyone else’s expectations. The nose broken and never fixed because when i cried for help i was ignored. The teeth that went through two years of augmentation to meet some expectation. The smile that never feels right. That feels so temporary, and alien. 

My emotions are not mine. I cannot have any. If I am happy, surely it was the cause of Someone else. A lover. Not myself. If I am sad, it is the fault of something within and without me. some irresponsibility on my part. If i am angry, i have no right to be. I am Lucky. I am provided for. I am privileged to have that which my parents did not. I am supposed to be thankful. 

I cannot belong to myself. Because there is no self to own.


End file.
